The journey of motherhood brings with it a myriad of transformations—physical, emotional, and cognitive. As we navigate this profound life change, it’s crucial to recognize that the experiences of memory lapses, emotional shifts, and other cognitive changes, often referred to as “mom brain,” are not only normal but are also backed by scientific research. Understanding these changes from a biological and psychological standpoint can reassure us that we are not alone, and that these adaptations are a natural part of becoming a mother. Mom brain is not just in your head, it’s real!
Understanding What “Mom Brain” Is
Research has consistently shown that during pregnancy, significant changes occur in the brain, particularly in areas involved in processing social interactions and emotions. These changes are thought to prepare us for the demands of motherhood, enhancing our ability to connect with and care for our newborns. For instance, a study highlighted by Hoekzema and colleagues in 2016 revealed that pregnancy leads to reductions in grey matter in parts of the brain associated with social cognition. While the term “reduction” might sound alarming, this process is akin to a fine-tuning of our brains, making us more attuned to our baby’s needs and emotions.
The Role of Hormones
Our hormones play a pivotal role in these transformations. Levels of estrogen, progesterone, and oxytocin surge during pregnancy and after birth, influencing our brain chemistry and impacting our mood and cognitive processes. Oxytocin, often dubbed the “love hormone,” is particularly significant as it deepens the bond between mother and child. However, these hormonal fluctuations can also make us more susceptible to stress and mood swings, explaining why we might feel more emotionally charged during this period.
Coping with Sleep Deprivation
One of the most talked-about challenges of new motherhood is sleep deprivation. Lack of sleep is well-documented to affect cognitive functions, such as memory, decision-making, and attention span. This is not a reflection of our capabilities but rather a nearly universal aspect of caring for a newborn. Recognizing that this is a temporary phase can help mitigate feelings of frustration or inadequacy that come with foggy thinking. Sometimes it comes down to the desires to just survive the day, each and every day is treated independently of one another because there are so many fluctuations in baby’s needs, mom’s energy levels and daily life requirements.
Stress and Mental Health
The stress associated with the transition to motherhood cannot be understated. It can strain our cognitive resources, leading to difficulties in concentration and memory. For many of us, this period also involves adjusting to new roles and expectations, which can exacerbate feelings of anxiety or depression. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and understand that they are a normal response to a significant life change, not a sign of personal failure. Also, so much of this is temporary and does not last forever. We must make a solid effort reflecting on ourselves and giving us grace and patience. Moms are not perfect, we are doing our best.
Emotional Regulation and Empathy
Interestingly, while some cognitive abilities might feel diminished, other areas, particularly those related to empathy and emotional regulation, may be enhanced. For example, have you given complete patience and made excuses for someone because ‘that’s just who they are?’ You are emotionally regulating their behaviors because of non-controllable reasons or simply because you can’t change someone’s ways. The same goes for our children, we have to regulate and downplay the physical and emotional toll their presence does to us in the early days. We know innately they’re just babies, they need 100% care and that’s our role. Mom brain is thought to help us better understand and respond to our baby’s needs. So, if you find yourself more emotionally sensitive during this period, it might be your brain’s way of gearing you up for the demands of motherhood.
Long-term Changes
It’s reassuring to know that most of the cognitive changes during pregnancy are temporary. However, studies suggest that some brain changes can last up to two years postpartum or longer. This extended period of adaptation is a normal part of the process, as our brains continue to respond to our new environment and responsibilities as mothers. Just like our physical changes from pregnancy to postpartum, we have to accept the mental and emotional changes as well. We should not downplay the emotional and mental toll, and you can argue even more than physical changes because our physical health is a representation of our emotional and mental wellbeing first.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the shifts in your cognitive and emotional state with mom brain, remember that you’re not alone. Many mothers experience similar changes, and these feelings are not a reflection of your competence or ability as a mother. They are a normal, natural response to the hormonal, physical, and emotional challenges of motherhood.
It’s crucial to seek support during this transformative time. Whether it’s talking to a friend, joining a support group, or seeking professional help, sharing your experiences can be incredibly validating and reassuring. Motherhood can feel lonely and isolating, so having a support system is vital to keeping new moms feel well, supported and most of all understood. Even though these changes are a common part of motherhood, having our tribe by our side can help us feel more connected and supported.
Embrace Your Journey, Mom Brain Included
Let’s remind ourselves and each other of the incredible work our bodies and minds are doing throughout this new chapter of life called motherhood. “Mom brain” is not a deficit but a realignment of our cognitive capacities to meet the needs of our role as caregivers. By understanding and talking about these changes openly, we can foster a more supportive and compassionate environment for all mothers.
Embracing this phase of life with knowledge and support can transform our experience from one of isolation to one of shared understanding and community. Let’s continue to support each other, sharing our stories and experiences, and affirming that while motherhood is a profound challenge, it is also filled with immense joy and fulfillment.
If you want to learn more about Mom Brain, watch this BBC YouTube video “How Pregnancy Dramatically Resculpts The Brain”
Study Resources:
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fsoc.2021.653160/full
